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March 28, 2019

There are people who’ve won the Boston Marathon with less supplemental hydration than most of the kids walking around in America these days.

I knew when we brought our squalling daughter home five years ago that we’d have to keep her safe, and fed, and (hopefully) out of prison and/or politics in order to set her on the path to a virtuous and meaningful life. I knew she’d have to learn how to read so that she could grow up and read angry and outrageous tweets that would ruin her day.

But I had no idea we’d be expected to absolutely flood her kidneys with water, day in and day out,...

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